Crest and Blood: A Short Story

Back in May my lovely pal Sarwat Kazmi and I decided to try something fun. She would write the end of a story while I would write the beginning and middle parts. We wrote it in about three days. Hope you all enjoy!

PART 1: SANA

Halima took a look at herself in the mirror, her chin length hair fashioned with a red bandana. Her brown eyes were brightened with a lining of gold while her rosy cheeks shimmered against her copper skin. She paired her wide-legged jeans with her favorite slip-on sandals and a plain white tee. She topped it all off with an emerald green cardigan and a thick velvet choker. She felt ready to take on the world, even if that world was just her senior year of college and her biggest challenge was still trying to give a damn about her courses.

There was just one problem.

She looked at the mark on her forearm and sighed, those black strange crests burrowing into her skin endlessly like jagged fractals that had been tattooed into her skin. She knew some had probably appeared on her back. She could feel her skin burning from the formations. They always formed an indentation in her skin similar to a burn when they appeared.

Halima was always the other as long as she could remember: other skin color, other religion, other fashion. But this. This was more than ‘other’. ‘Other’ could be teased and packaged into easily digestible sitcoms consumed by the masses. ‘Other’ could be grouped. No one else had this. These crests were hers and hers only. They flared up every time she let those painful thoughts plague her. Like the memories of spring of freshman year. They only got bigger and more jagged with each occurence.

She sighed once more at the thought and gripped her backpack. Ding. She pulled out her phone.

N: I’m heading to Leo’s. You coming?

She felt a small smile spread across her face. It was Nadir, a mechanical engineering major with dark eyes, copper skin, black wavy tresses, and one of her best friends. Someone normal and consistent. She eagerly replied.

H: Be there soon! Grab me an aranciana?

N: K

Halima walked through campus, admiring the rustling of the trees, the bright blue sky, and the bustle of students around her. It was by every standard, a beautiful day. She walked towards the campus coffee shop. It was just after the 9 AM rush, so there were plenty of seats. She spotted Nadir, adjusting his sunglasses, sitting at a table by the window, as he waved her over.

“Hey Lima Llama.” She groaned at his nickname for her.

“In what way do I remind you of a llama?”

He cracked a mischievous smile. “Easy… your fluffy cardigans and long neck.”

With a roll of her eyes, she let out an exasperated sigh. “Asshole.”

Nadir, with one hand dramatically clutching his chest, remarked. “How rude. I got you a scone and this is how you treat me.” He pushed a small dish with a warm scone along with Halima’s coffee. It was a cherry vanilla scone: her favorite. 

She struggled but couldn’t hide the grin spreading across her face. “You really didn’t have to. Thanks.”

Nadir shrugged. “I’m an asshole. What can I say? I like to make you feel bad when you tease me.”

Even behind his shades, Halima knew Nadir’s eyes were smiling and for some reason, she felt comforted by this.

She nibbled on her scone then moaned when she saw that her crests and put her head down. If only she knew how to eradicate these markings.

Nadir noticed her deflated posture. “Are the crests showing up again?”

She lifted her hand to show him and groaned. “Yeah,” she trailed off. “And I cannot for the life of me figure out why this time.”

Nadir pursed his lips, eyes cast down at her markings. “And the dermatologists can’t figure it out right?”

Halima rested her head on her hand. “Nope. They think it’s an abnormal trauma induced thing.”

Nadir felt a lump in his throat. “Is it because of…” He hesitates, treading lightly with his next words. “What happened freshman year?”

Halima bites her lip and looks away. “Even if it was… I don’t want to talk about it. Especially not with you… if that’s okay.” She lifts her eyes to meet his sad ones.

He felt a heavy pang in his heart. “Sure.” With a shake of his head he continues. “I get it. But maybe you should talk to someone? There are counselors on campus you know? It clearly still seems to be distressing you.”

Halima looked at him. A year ago she might have lashed out at the idea, convinced that she was fine on her own. But seeing him and her parents being so concerned, she realized how much she was hurting them by not trying.

“...Alright….so let’s go...after our 11 ams,” she replied nervously.

Nadir beamed. “Let’s do it!”

A chagrin smile formed on her lips. She still wasn’t totally sure if talking about her anxieties would help but it would at least stop Nadir from worrying. “Yeah.”

“Halima,” her ears perked up at the sound of her name. Nadir didn’t call Halima by her name unless it was serious.

“If you ever do feel comfortable. I’d like to know….since we’re friends and all. You mean a lot to me.”

She nodded. “Okay...maybe one day. Just not now.” She pulled out her laptop and began to look over her assignments for the week. Nadir mirrored her. They sat and worked in a comfortable silence, occasionally breaking for more banter.

***

As promised, Halima allowed Nadir to walk her over to the counseling office. They were able to secure a walk in appointment due to it being fairly early in the semester.

Nadir waited with her while she filled out her intake form and until she was called up. 

“Halima Kareem!” exclaimed a voluptuous woman with short brown hair and red framed glasses.

Halima jolted up. “That’s me!” She walked over and looked back nervously at Nadir who motioned her to keep going.

The woman motioned her to her office and sat down in a comfortable looking leather chair. She motioned for Halima to sit opposite her on a brown couch that was clearly worn but still oddly comfortable.

“I’m Dr. Kelly. I’ll be doing your intake today,” she replied while notating furiously on her clipboard.

“Nice to meet you,” replied Halima meekly.

“So why are you here today Halima?”

“This is kind of weird to explain….but I get these weird marks on my body whenever I’m distressed.” She paused to roll up her cardigan to show her crests. “And my friends and family think it’s related to this thing that happened to me freshman year. That’s around the time the marks started appearing.”

Dr. Kelly stared at the marks furrowing her brows and then continued to write on her clipboard. “Tell me about what happened freshman year Halima.”

She bit her lip. “....I used to be really into music. I was in a band my first semester of college. I played the bass...nothing great….but you know I could keep a rhythm. And two of my really good friends were the singer and guitarist alike. They were also dating at the time. It was nice. We were….hanging out all the time and writing songs together pretty often. I loved penning the lyrics. I guess the inner English minor in me had a creative outlet in penning lyrics. The vocalist’s boyfriend would write a lot of the melodies on his guitar. So we would mesh pretty well together. One night my friend...she went home early and the drummer and keyboardist had a music theory exam to study for. So it was just the two of us...me and James. It wasn’t the first time this had happened so I never expected anything to happen any differently. James had been mentioning how stressed he had been lately. Him and Salma hadn’t really been seeing each other much. She spent a lot of her time in the painting studio because midterms were coming up and she had a lot of work to get done just like any other art major. I kept telling him that...and yet….he kept voicing how it all made him feel so alone. I asked him if there was anything I could do to help...that was probably where I made my first mistake. And I remember how he looked at me. It was like he sprung back to life and any sense of his agony and woe over Salma just disappeared. I remember his eyes. They were always this weirdly intense shade of green. It was like emeralds had been lodged into his irises. Salma always said that was her favorite thing about him but it looked foreboding to me that day. Anyway...he looks at me and says…

You want to help Halima?

Yeah….if I could in any way I’d like to.

Well...it’s been a while since I’ve been taken care of.

James what are you talking about? We’re a band. We’re always taking care of each other. And Salma is almost always doting on you when we’re together.

But see that’s the thing. I hardly see her anymore. And God...it’s been a while since…

Since…?

We’ve had a moment alone...

I looked at him and immediately I knew what he was alluding to. So naturally I tried to laugh it off and redirect him back to Salma. But I could feel my back twisting up and my stomach knotting like a pretzel.

Well I’m sure if you told Salma you guys could work something out-

You’re really pretty Halima. I’ve always loved your...long...neck.

I started packing my things frantically. I was scared. It wasn’t the James I recognized. His eyes were glassy like he was in a drunken stupor.

I really should get going...I think you’re tired and we’re probably not gonna get much done with the Jazz Gal song today. 

And then I turned around to leave and he grabbed my wrist and pressed his teeth to my neck. They felt like daggers. I could feel the warmth of my blood pooling down my neck. I could feel my energy leaving me and his grip on me tightening. I could feel myself becoming vacant until I realized what was happening. With all I had I pushed him off of me. For a moment I saw his green eyes seething in my direction, my blood painting his lips. Then he began to clutch his head, like something lept out of him.

Ergh....Halima….

James...why...why did you do that? What the hell?!

I remember clutching my neck, feeling the blood sticking to my hands. I was trembling. Within a few moments the man in front of me transformed from one of my dearest friends since middle school to a literal blood hungry monster.

I...I’m so sorry...look please don’t tell anyone....I….this sometimes happens to me and normally I-

What do you mean?

I get...cravings

For people?!

It’s been like this. Ever since I was young…I fed on blood. Normally I have blood capsules but they just haven’t been working since midterms have started.

But you love garlic…

What?!

You’re like a vampire right? But you always eat garlic knots when we go out for pizza. Are you overcompensating or something?

He laughed. Halima I’m not a vampire. It’s just a craving. I swear. I don’t sleep in a coffin, I don’t give other people the craving when I bite them, and I could be killed by a wood stake but I think anyone could if it’s going into their heart.

Then why did your eyes glow?

I...don’t know. My parents have taken me to several doctors but no one has an answer. They just give me the pills.

How come I’ve never seen you take them?

I was always really careful. I don’t know what it is lately...I haven’t seen Salma on our own in a while, I’m really stressed about midterms, I feel really alone and I guess it culminated. You...taste amazing Halima. There’s a hint of sweetness in your blood.

I wish I could be flattered but you literally stole blood from my body! I need it to live.

I know...I don’t need a lot....just half a cup maybe…

...are you suggesting that you want to suck my blood again? What on EARTH makes you think we would do this again?

I started backing towards the door.

You’re right..I’m sorry..I just…

He was reaching for my hand again...and I whipped it away as fast as I could. It was like he was an addict and I was his drug or something. Ugh just the sound of that sounds so cringey, like some cliche monster love story. And because of that I bolted out of there as fast as I could. The last thing I saw was his hand on his mouth. For a brief moment I felt guilty because he needed help. But I was scared. ” Halima began rubbing her hands together, fidgeting for some comfortable silence amidst what she just shared.

I mean...this is crazy to obsess over isn’t it? That’s probably what she’s thinking.

Dr. Kelly gave her a small smile. “Thank you for sharing Halima. You’ve done a wonderful job detailing what happened.”

Halima chuckled and nervously scratched her head. “Thanks! Might be the English minor in me. Business analytics will get me a job but I figured English would keep me interesting at happy hours outside of the usual ‘I’m reading the newest Malcolm Gladwell self help book and learning how to code’.” She continued to laugh nervously.

Dr. Kelly flashed her a sympathetic smile and continued to write. “And what happened after you ran out on James?”

Halima started drumming her fingers against her knees. “I ran home making sure my neck was covered before anyone saw. I locked myself in the bathroom to rinse out the blood from my neck. Then I noticed this burning sensation on my shoulder. I remember gasping in pain. I looked and there was this jagged black spiral. I had never seen it before. It only mutated and grew as the days went by.”

“Did you tell anyone what happened?”

“I told my parents eventually. They noticed the crests and were worried. Took me to all kinds of doctors without any answers. They weren’t mad at me. But they were worried,” she said, feeling a pit forming in her stomach.

“What about the bite?”

Halima sighed. She removed her choker, revealing two faded circular indents on the left side of her neck. “It faded, most folks don’t really notice it but for my own sake I usually wear chokers and turtlenecks.”

“And are you mad at you?”

“I...know it’s not my fault...but I feel bad for abandoning my friend. After that the band kinda drifted apart, mostly because of me. I kept making excuses of why I couldn’t make it to jam sessions. Eventually our drummer Yvonne took over writing lyrics and I unofficially quit. It was just too awkward. I’m still friends with Salma but whenever she asks what happened, I just say James and I had a falling out over a decision about the song and that I just wasn’t feeling the band anymore with my school workload. She’s always been understanding, which is really nice.”

“Have you tried talking to James about what happened?” asked Dr. Kelly, adjusting her frames.

Halima looked at her forearm. The crests were especially jagged today. She thought about how often when people saw the marks on her, they assumed she was an artistic tattoo enthusiast. If they took a closer look they would see the painful indentations each crest made into her skin when formed. She bit her lip. “No...is there a point? I mean…all the damage is done…”

Dr. Kelly took a deep breath. It wasn’t a sigh but rather self possessed. “Well...you still have the marks and you seem to be conflicted on how you handled things. It might be worth a try.”

Halima tensed up and looked dead into Dr. Kelly’s eyes, feeling slightly offended. “Do you think I still have these crests because of guilt?” Was Dr. Kelly really blaming her for what happened?

Dr. Kelly paused and looked out her window. She did not want to come off as accusatory. She looked back, seeing Halima’s fierce brown eyes lined with bright gold and said, “I wouldn’t say it is all guilt...but perhaps you didn’t totally get to voice all of your feelings in the moment since you were just discovering his affliction.”

Halima relaxed her shoulders. “That’s...a really good point. But...I...I’m scared. What if he bites me again?”

Dr. Kelly smiled. “Good. That’s the first step to getting through this: acknowledging your fear.”

Halima looked at her feet.

Dr. Kelly rested her arm on her clipboard. “You don’t have to go alone. You can take someone-”

“No!” said Halima defiantly and immediately shrank back. “I get what you’re saying but…James swore me to secrecy and I think I need to respect that. I don’t even know if Salma knows.”

“Alright. Maybe let someone know that you’re going to take care of things. Just so that they are a line of support in case things go awry.” she said and then sighed. “Unfortunately, our session is coming to an end but if you want to keep talking about this, please set up an appointment at our front office. I’d love it if you would keep me posted.”

Halima nodded. “Thank you.”

She grabbed her bag and exited the office. When she walked back to the waiting area, she saw Nadir was still there, his headphones on and typing on his laptop. She smirked and walked up to him. She knelt down and rested her chin on the top of his laptop.

“Hello,” she said wryly. 

He looked up and laughed, removing his earbuds from his ear. “So...how did it go?”

She lifted her chin to stand straight. “I have something I have to do.”

He shut his laptop and put it away. “Yeah? And what would that be?” He said, rising from the stale lobby bench.

She began walking out of the lobby. He followed her closely. “It’s not really any of your business..” she said coyly.

He furrowed his brows. “Oh?”

“Yes.” she said.

“You’re being awfully shady…where are you going to take care of business?” he said.

Halima sighed. She could tell Nadir was worried. “I’m going to see James.”

He was surprised. “James? Interesting…”

She looked at him. “What?”

He flinched. “Is he the reason you have the crests?”

She could feel burning in her skin. “Maybe...that’s what I’m going to find out.”

“Why don’t I come with you?” said Nadir timidly.

She stopped in her tracks. They were near the side entrance of the campus library. The entrance was outside in a public space but fairly empty this time of day as most students were on the quad or the mall with it being so early in the semester. The wind was rustling as she turned to look at him. “You can’t.”

“Why not?”

She searched for words. She didn’t want to explain James’ condition, at least not now. “It’s none of your business that’s why. It’s my fault and it’s my problem that I have to fix on my own.”

“Halima..”

“What is it?” she said exasperated.

He struggled to exhale. “Don’t be a martyr. If this was the reason you have those crests then it clearly caused you a lot of pain. Don’t ever think you deserve it and that you have to do everything on your own.”

She was getting annoyed. “Why do you do this?”

Nadir furrowed his brows. “You mean give a shit?”

Halima groaned. “No. I mean saying things that sound like you’re trying to save me. You must feel so heroic taking care of your broken damaged friend don’t you?”

“Halima I get that you’re upset but it’s still really shitty of you to say that,” he sighed, “I’m not trying to save you. You’re….my friend...I care about you. I don’t think you’re damaged. And I don’t want you thinking you’re damaged either. I wouldn’t want that for my family and I definitely don’t want it for you.”

Halima clenched her fist. “That’s nice but you still can’t come…you wouldn’t get it.” She could see the pained expression in his eyes and felt a lump forming in her throat.

Nadir gulped. “Fine.” He grit his teeth. “You know sometimes I feel like you just hang out with me because you’re lonely.”

She could feel her eyes welling up. “Nadir...that’s so not true…”

He let out an exasperated sigh. “You always put these walls up with me. It’s like...I wanna be there for you and you just...shut down. I mean I...” She could feel him breaking.

Halima then felt tears stinging her eyes. I wish he knew how badly I want to tell him everything. She moved closer to him, grabbed his hands, closed her eyes in an effort to block the tears, and leaned her nose against his. He was taller but with some effort in her feet she was able to reach him. “I know...I’m sorry. You’ve always been there...always. I do want to tell you eventually...but please,” tears streamed down her face, “please let me do this on my own first.”

He leaned back towards her. “Okay.”

“Give me an hour ok?” she whispered.

“Okay,” he whispered back.

She opened her eyes and receded back to her normal height. Nadir wiped her tears with his thumb and then pinched her nose.

“Ow!” she yelped.

“Go get him...or fight him....or whatever the hell you need to do,” he said with an encouraging smile.

Halima let go of his hands and playfully punched him. She started to walk away looking back at him wistfully. There was so much more she wanted to tell him.

‘Go,’ he mouthed.

She smiled and kept walking to her destination.

***

Halima stood in front of the house and felt herself fidgeting nervously. It was crazy how much his place hadn’t changed since freshman year. The shutters were still a pasty blue that likely needed a paint touch up. The porch still had an old rocking chair that James and Salma had found for ten dollars at a thrift store. The welcome mat still had faded peaches on it, which was Salma’s favorite fruit. She took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and pushed on the doorbell.

BATMAN! BATMAN! Nah nah nah nah nah nah nah BATMAN!

Halima burst into laughter. She had forgotten how their ridiculous doorbell played the original Batman theme and how James’s roommate, a mechanical engineer, had installed it as a fun experiment for a project.

The door opened slowly and Halima was taken aback. She was surprised at how different James looked. Gone were his messy waves and contacts. Erased were his flannels and baggy jeans. He now had a fade with black rimmed glasses and was wearing a fitted henley shirt with bootcut jeans. All that remained were those other worldly green eyes, still bright and intense as ever. She had to admit the man looked good.

His eyes widened. “Halima?”

She cleared her throat. “Hey James...can I come in?”

“Sure…” He motioned her in.

She walked in and sat at the breakfast table, where her, James, and Salma had spent many nights studying, talking, and laughing.

He sat down in front of her staring intensely at the salt shaker for a moment. He then cleared his throat. “Nice haircut by the way.”

She tousled her hair and let out a small laugh. “Thanks. You too,” she said motioning to his fade.

He scratched his head nervously. “Thanks...so what’s up?”

She sighed. “I want to talk to you about...freshman year.” she gulped. This was going to be more difficult than she thought. She could feel it.

He squared his jaw. “Yeah...I guess things left off on a pretty awkward note….”

She raised a brow playfully. “You guess?”

He laughed nervously. “I mean I know...Halima....I am so sorry for what I did to you...I can’t imagine the emotional toll you must have gone through after. I wish I had reached out but I thought maybe you didn’t want to talk to me…”

“It wasn’t just emotional.”

“What?”

She sighed and removed her cardigan to reveal her right arm: covered with the black crests, smaller and more jagged as they moved down her arm to her wrist. 

James was mortified. “That’s not a tattoo sleeve is it? It’s...burned into your skin…” he put his hand over his mouth, looking nauseated.

She rolled her cardigan back on. “...yeah they started forming after what happened. Can I be frank for a sec?”

He gulped. “Of course.”

Halima trembled. “I hate what you did...I hate that I can’t look at my own neck in the mirror without thinking back to that feeling...that feeling of almost passing out from my blood getting drawn. I can’t donate blood or get a shot without almost passing out. I hate how much I’ve worried my friends and family over these fucking crests. I hate that right after revealing such an intimate secret you tried to coerce me into agreeing to do it again. I know you didn’t mean to do that and that you didn’t mean to bite me to begin with but it still hurt. It hurt so much. And the worst thing is sometimes I hate myself because I feel like I ruined the band. I feel like I was being selfish. And I feel like I wasn’t there for you in your moment of need as your friend. But I did what any sane person would and gave myself some space….so why...why do I still feel so horrible?” She looked at him unsure of how he would answer and was surprised to see he was trembling too.

“Halima...there’s not a night that goes by where I don’t think about what I did. I did everything I could to become a quote on quote better man. I told Salma about my secret. I began looking after myself and my appearance. I talked to more doctors about my condition and was able to find a more permanent solution. I now have my own animal blood bank where I can satisfy my craving.” he said. He was clenching his fists. “I hate what I’ve done to you...I shouldn’t have tried to use you as the answer to my problem. You’re a person...and you were my friend...and I ruined that.”

Halima could feel her lip quivering. “I…”

James looked at her. “What?”

“I don’t know!” yelped Halima. “I think it’s so wonderful you were able to fix yourself and your really weird craving and it honestly makes me feel so much better but...I still feel awful...I don’t know who to talk to about all of this. My parents wanted to sue you when they found out you know? I had to stop them because I just didn’t see a point in it. And there’s someone I really really wanna talk to about this but you told me I can’t tell anyone and I feel so alone in this.” She covered her face with her hands feeling the tears streaming down. “And I’ve cried twice today and the semester hasn’t even started! A lot is happening right now...”

“I love that despite the gravity of all of this your inner Leo is still able to rear its melodramatic head,” James laughed. He almost immediately stiffened back up. “I wish I knew what to say.”

“The thing is I don’t even know what should be said. This is all so weird. We both had some weird abnormal shit happen to us that I wouldn’t wish on anyone. What is someone supposed to say right now?” she cried. “Imagine reading this exchange as a transcript. What could you possibly say to make me feel better?”

“I don’t know…” James thought about her question and eventually gave her a soft smile. “Halima you can tell whoever it is you seem to want to tell...I trust you.”

She wiped her tears. “Really?”

“Yeah. I had to go to therapy for two years and rebuild my relationship with my girlfriend to even start to feel okay about what happened. You ought to feel safe to talk about it.”

She felt like she was dreaming. Was just having the option to share what she went through with Nadir, the person she knew would be there no matter what, what she really needed?

Halima slowly stood up nestling into this realization with her hands gripping the back of the chair.

“You look a lot better…” James noted.

“I think...you gave me just what I needed…” she said, surprised as the words spilled out of her mouth.

“Halima?”

“Yeah?” she said, looking at him.

He parted his lips. “Can we please be friends again?”

She sighed searching for the right words. She could see the earnestness in his eyes. She decided to go with her gut. “I...I can’t...there’s too much pain associated with you. It would be a disservice to say yes just because I want to make you feel comfortable. I just can’t do that. Maybe at some point in the future we could be distant friends but I don’t want to promise that. But I will say if you see me around campus, I will wave hello.”

He looked down. Halima could tell he was disappointed. He looked back up at her. “I understand.”

Halima relaxed her hands and then felt a wave of relief wash over her. It felt good to allow the ocean of emotions inside of her flow out like a high tide. She felt a small smile creep onto her face. Self possessed and reassured, she looked at her forearm. The crests had begun to fade. This time she had a feeling it would be permanent. Hell yes.

She looked back at James with bright clarity. “Goodbye James. Stay well.”

He gave her a chagrin smile. “Goodbye Halima. You deserve the world.”

She turned towards the front door and walked out of the house without looking back.

PART 2: SARWAT

Halima pressed her back against the front door after closing it, her head resting against the wood with her eyes closed. The ache in her chest she could previously feel spreading through every muscle in her body, finally subsiding as she came to terms with what just happened. Her train of thought was suddenly interrupted by a ding: a message.

N: how did it go?

She contemplated what to write, how to encapsulate the gravity of the events that just transpired without writing a novel or just a simple ‘it was fine. After writing and deleting potential responses, she finally decided to write back.

H: I’ll tell you in person. Where are you?

N: our usual spot near the tree

H: Great, be there in 15.

Halima descended the steps in front of the house towards her car. As she closed the passenger door after placing her bag in the seat, she paused for a brief moment, slightly turning to take one final glance. With a release of breath, she didn’t even realize she was holding, she walked around to get into the driver’s seat. She glanced over to her right to see James’ eyes peeking from behind the curtain by the window. He raised his hand hesitantly, a hopeful smile adorning his face. She raised her hand in reply as to say goodbye — a goodbye for now. She turned her head back towards the road and started the ignition, feeling a little lighter driving away.

***

Nadir sat lying on a blanket under a tree as the sun began to set. Golden hour was at its peak and he was bathing in a ray of golden yellow. Halima spotted him as she parked the car and attempted to quietly approach him as his eyes were closed. Deciding to not disturb whatever thoughts might be swirling around in his head, she laid next to him, her face initially staring up at the sky for a while until she turned to face his.

There was quiet around them except for the sounds of birds chirping and children calling to their parents out in the distance. There was a gentle breeze whipping around them as it became dusk. Halima was contemplating how to break the silence, eyes trained on him.

“I can feel you staring, you know.” Nadir’s eyes were still closed as he broke out into a grin. Halima paused, hesitant to speak.

“I… I’ve been trying to figure out what to say.”

“That’s a shocker considering you’re usually so quick-witted.” Nadir snorted. Halima punches his arm.

“Asshole.” She mutters under her breath. He was full-on belly laughing at her remark.

“Hey come on, you know I was kidding. Now come lie down.” She started to get up and was standing when Nadir grabbed her hand.

“Why don’t you go back to sleep?” She retorted.

“Don’t be so annoying, now will you lie down. Please?” He’s on his stomach with her hand grasped between both of his. Lips pouted and eyes wide.

Halima sighs and relents, the pair return to their previous position. She’s staring up at the sky, aware of Nadir’s gaze on her. She picks at a hangnail absentmindedly, taking a deep breath and exhaling.

“I’m scared.” She finally lets out.

“I know.”

Halima closes her eyes as she feels them welling up with tears, letting one fall down her cheeks into the grass. Her throat works, but barely. “I didn’t want to hurt anyone.”

Nadir reaches out for her hand resting in the grass, fingers intertwining, he waits until her eyes open to meet his.

“Look… we’ll be alright. But for now, rest.”

Halima closes her eyes once more as the moon begins to rise over them. Placing her trust one more time in someone who’s she sure will be there.